Webhamster Henry's Top 10 Imaginary Recordings of 2004
  1. Countdown to Math (Educatorz 1965)
    New Math at its most inscrutable.
    One side: someone counting from 0 to 1000 , every second. The other side, a lot of instructions about games like Buzz where you have to jump on every number with a 7 in it or divisible by 7, but instead with variations like "x plus 1 is a square"
  2. Layoff 2002! (Anonymously leaked )
    Impersonal voicemail sent to 1400 or so of the anonymous submitter's co-workers.
  3. Left In the Dark (Polarads 2004)
    Right-wing Rock Band "Heaven 527" almost gets you to flip the wrong lever with their hooky anti-Kerry vitriol filled EP featuring "Swift Boat to Hell", "Makin' Flippy-floppy", "Saddam = 9-11" and other disinformation.
  4. Blacktop (Reams of Eames, 1952/2004)
    The long-lost original soundtrack to the classic Charles and Ray Eames abstract film "Blacktop" features the sound of soapy water on asphalt. Soothing, and, strangely affecting when replacing the cool-jazz soundtrack it's so famous for.
  5. V(i)@gg(r)@ Slam (SPAMUSIC, 2004)
    A tag team of eight poets reading a day's worth of e-mail Spam, including those amazing strings of words having nothing to do with anything. Ah, had W. S. Burroughs only lived!
  6. Rhythm All Around (Musicator, 1971)
    Nice little educational 10" finding rhythm in almost everything: ping pong games, various bouncing objects, old mechanical calculators, phone dials, ski lift cables... perfect as a bed for further enhancement!
  7. Analogue World Record (Source Of Uncertainty, 2004)
    This was fun! Through an internet mail list, about 240 analog synth fans showed up at an impromptu party in a just-shut down supermarket, where they plugged roughly 28,000 modules together, trying for a world record that nobody knew existed. The recording was made by running down the aisles with a shopping cart full of Nagras.
  8. Heliox research tape (Cover research, 1973/2004)
    A longtime underground fave, passed from grad student to grad student, featured sober research on the effects of breathing heliox - Oxygen mixed with Helium instead of Nitrogen - on humans and other animals. Researchers that sound like they've escaped from Ross Bagdasarian's unconscious describe each animal's behavior as it freaks out. Somehow, an early generation copy has surfaced here!
  9. "He told me to do it." (private tape 2003)
    Disgruntled elementary school teacher Lynda U. surreptitiously tapes her whiny, complaining charges as they try to weasel out on the schoolyard/lunchroom fracases they provoke, playing it back for their parents. Sheesh!
  10. Victory 2004 (EZ Campaigns, 2004)
    On this CD (with workbook), a completely generic political campaign, with speeches, endorsements, "real people", "news", "attack ads" and, on the CD-ROM portion, a fully customizable website so you can seem to run for public office. Revised every two years, you can subscribe!